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iRun because I cannot say no to a second slice of chocolate cake – Emily Shandruk , Vancouver, BC

iRun to stay fit and release those running endorphins – Liliana Plava , Calgary, AB

iRun because I want to qualify for Boston and raise money for charities near and dear to my heart – Christine Gracel , Calgary, AB

iRun because it makes me feel good, allows me to spend time with my friends and gives me a feeling of accomplishment – Helen Kolodziejzyk , Calgary, AB

iRun but not enough – Michael Shaw , New Westminister, BC

iRun because I never thought I would be able to – Gary Morris , Winnipeg, MB

iRun to challenge myself, physically and mentally – Kathleen Keenan , Brampton, ON

iRun because people around me inspire me – Pina Bevilacqua , Caledon, ON

iRun therefore I am – Duncan Walsh , Nottingham, UK

iRun because I live – Georges Schneller , Laval, QC

iRun to be free and enjoy our beautiful country – Cheryl Carter , Clearwater , BC

iRun for overall wellbeing – Trish McCourt , Halifax, NS

iRun because it makes me a better person, a better wife, a better mother and a better friend – Nathalie Joncas-Caissie , St-Antoine, NB

iRun because it makes me feel powerful – Carlene Paquette , Carp, ON

iRun because pecan pie, french fries and beer are chasing me – Teresa Sterling , Ottawa , ON

iRun because it’s in me – Michael Foley , Stittsville, ON

iRun because it reminds me that I am capable of so much more than I have done – James Sauve , Ottawa, ON

iRun for me – Kiza Francis , Ottawa,ON

iRun to prove to myself I can – Lesley McGougan , Brampton, ON

iRun because all the ladies are chasing my sexy runner’s body – Chris Baker , Etobicoke, ON

iRun because I can and I’m grateful – Terry SanCartier , Gatineau, QC

iRun because when I run I feel most alive – Meghan Lynch , Ottawa, ON

iRun to unleash my inner athlete – Adelle Densham , Avonmore, ON

iRun because it cleans up my life, because I drink more water, sleep better and eat healthier foods – Robin McIntyre , Ottawa, ON

iRun because of the peace and strength it brings me – Michelle Jordan , Ottawa, ON

iRun because I need it to soothe the soul, keep me in shape and for overall wellbeing – Beth Neil , Lombardy, ON

iRun because it is my tonic and my salvation – Georgia Ioannou , British Columbia

iRun for relaxation and to motivate my two sons – Keith Bradbury , Newfoundland

iRun because endorphins are free – Cassandra Chouinard , Ontario

iRun because somebody once told me I couldn’t – Heidi Abbey-Der , Saskatchewan

iRun because couch potatoes die young – Cathy Andrew , Ontario

iRun because it’s cheaper than therapy – Leah Boulter , Alberta

iRun because I like buying running clothes – Pamela Blaikie , Ontario

iRun slowly! – Jason Hoffman , Manitoba

iRun because it gives me freedom to relax my brain – Marie-Claude Gregoire , Nova Scotia

iRun because I learn more about who I am with every km – Steph Mansell , Quebec

iRun because iEat – Sherry Maligaspe , British Columbia

iRun and run, and run, and run, and nobody can stop me – Andrei Lucaciu , Ontario

iRun because the wall is meant to be broken – Jonathan Bird , Ontario

iRun because it has saved my life – John Marshall , Alberta

iRun for the challenge to go faster and farther – Steven Matejka , Alberta

iRun to my happy place and some days it’s very – Doreen May , Alberta

iRun because food tastes better afterwards – Patrick Houston , Alberta

iRun because I can’t dance – Mario Javier , Ontario

iRun so I don’t say never ever again – Linda Klaric , Manitoba

iRun because it makes me whole – Denis Ladouceur , Quebec

iRun because it gets my husband out there – Tricia LaLonde , Alberta

iRun away from the negative and towards the positive – Teri Lepard , Alberta

iRun because running is like breathing to – Stephanie McEvoy , Ontario

iRun because I love the solitude – Janene Tailleur , British Columbia

iRun for the moment when both feet are off the ground – Catherine Anderson , British Columbia

iRun to someday win the race – Lindy Dunlop , Yukon

iRun to stay ahead of the weight gain – Myra Abstreiter , Alberta

iRun because otherwise I’m grumpy – Alexandre Charest , Quebec

iRun because I get foot rubs afterward – Kate Howerton , British Columbia

iRun because iLoves my man – Beverly Huang , Alberta

iRun because not everyone can – Olivia Harvey , New Brunswick

iRun to get to know myself, my strength and my spirit – Lisa Groulx , Ontario

iRun whenever I feel the need to escape – Iona Hillis , Ontario

iRun because it’s like flying, only lower – Glenn Johnson , Ontario

iRun because it makes me feel powerful – Sarah Kallaghan , Alberta

iRun because I’ve lost 80 lbs and running has become fun – Cheryl Kelly , Ontario

iRun because there is no finish line – Claire Kilgour , Ontario

iRun so my daughters know that they can, too – Shelley Kirkpatrick , New Brunswick

iRun because it reminds me of how strong I can be – Monique Lavoie , Ontario

iRun because it’s a great way to see the world – Sherry Mahoney , British Columbia

iRun because my heart tells me to – William Martin , Manitoba

iRun to prove to them that iCan – Catherine Smith , Manitoba

iRun because it’s fun when it’s done – Sue Matte , Ontario

iRun because I am not as clumsy I thought I was – Hanna Baer , Quebec

iRun see where my feet will take me today – Megan Dolinskas , New York

iRun for the cool t-shirts! – Pina Bevilacqua , Ontario

iRun because I want to be a role model for our six kids – Catherine Empey , British Columbia

iRun to inspire my kids to try – Glen Johnston , Nunavut

iRun so I can eat ice cream – Sandy Bolan , Ontario

iRun because I want to live to be 100! – Colette DeJean , Ontario

iRun for health, iRun for life – Pat Cheung , British Columbia

iRun because it gives my day a boost of energy – Sara Campbell , Nova Scotia

iRun because it’s better than almost everything else – Nathan Carey , Ontario

iRun at 50 years old because at 43 I couldn’t – Peter Cicalo , Ontario

iRun iRun because it is my tonic and my salvation – Georgia Ioannou , British Columbia

iRun iRun for relaxation and to motivate my two sons – Keith Bradbury , Newfoundland

iRun iRun because endorphins are free – Cassandra Chouinard , Ontario

iRun iRun because somebody once told me I couldn't – Heidi Abbey-Der , Saskatchewan

iRun iRun because couch potatoes die young – Cathy Andrew , Ontario

iRun iRun because it's cheaper than therapy – Leah Boulter , Alberta

iRun iRun because I like buying running clothes – Pamela Blaikie , Ontario

iRun iRun slowly! – Jason Hoffman , Manitoba

iRun iRun because iEat – Sherry Maligaspe , British Columbia

iRun iRun because I learn more about who I am with every km – Steph Mansell , Quebec

iRun iRun because it gives me freedom to relax my brain – Marie-Claude Gregoire , Nova Scotia

iRun iRun at 50 years old because at 43 I couldn't – Peter Cicalo , Ontario

iRun iRun because it's better than almost everything else – Nathan Carey , Ontario

iRun iRun for my heart, so it runs for me! – Cathy Brzoza , British Columbia

iRun iRun to inspire my children! – Wendy Bowen , Manitoba

iRun iRun because it sure beats the bus – Robin Robbins , Alberta

iRun iRun for the challenge and to remember to fully live – Pascale Synnott , Québec

iRun iRun to kickstart my day – Sharon Strueby , Saskatchewan

iRun iRun for me! – Judi Wearing , Saskatchewan

iRun iRun because it's a great stress release – Brooke McKenzie , Yukon

iRun iRun because i love to – Mirella Petriello , Ontario

iRun iRun because it helps me see things more clearly – Jennifer Pitts , Ontario

iRun iRun to eat – Maureen Tritscher , Alberta

iRun iRun to correct years of sedentary living! – Mike Scott , Ontario

iRun iRun away from the abyss – Charlene Thomas , Ontario

iRun iRun all the livelong day – Pierre Saint-Laurent , Québec

iRun iRun to challenge my perceived limitations – Cassandra Williams , Ontario

iRun iRun to maintain a strong physical and mental state – Tammy Rainville , Ontario

iRun iRun so that I can live longer and stronger – Derek MacPhail , Ontario

iRun iRun to feel great – Kathryn Rachar , Saskatchewan

iRun iRun because I like to be healthy – Melanie Oickle , New Brunswick

iRun iRun to eat more, especially sweet potatoe fries – Joanna Skomra , Ontario

iRun iRun for the fresh air and adrenalin – Charlyn McGregor , Saskatchewan

iRun iRun for the individual pursuit – Robert Pelletier , New Brunswick

iRun iRun to satisfy the irresistible urge – Tim Nixon , British Columbia

iRun iRun because I love the sense of accomplishment – Amber Moase , Nova Scotia

iRun iRun to challenge my mind, body and soul – Sonia Mendes , Ontario

iRun iRun because walking is too slow – Barry Knapp , Ontario

The Shuffler

My stitch-banishing ceremony

July 22nd, 2010

It’s three days later and I’m still basking in the glow of my 5km PR.  I didn’t mention this in the race report but it’s extra-special to me because over the last few years, I seem to have regressed rather than slowly improved.  Obviously, a lot of tears, sweat and blood went into this spectacular performance.  But I think the key ingredient may have been witchcraft.

You see, I am the (hopefully former) owner of the world’s most tenacious stitch.  I’ve gotten stitches from running (and sometimes swimming and walking) as far back as I can remember.  I suspect stitches may be the major explanation for my lousy gym marks from grades 1 through 9.  When I first started running seriously in 2007, I was plagued with stitches.  Eventually, they went away.  And came back.  And went away again.  I developed a stitch in almost every single race I’ve ever done.  At one point, I consulted a sports medicine doctor.   I came with a pre-prepared list of variables that I knew to be related to the stitch (e.g., warming up properly), variables that might be related to the stitch (e.g., breathing pattern) and variables that did not seem to be related to the stitch (e.g., timing of food and water intake).  He told me to go away and come back if they were still around in another few months.  Over that time, they went away….and came back again.  I searched the research literature and discovered that 1) no one really knows what causes stitches (theories include diaphragm spasms, stretched ligaments, irritation of the parietal peritoneum or “hepatic, splenic or phrenic nerves”) and 2) no one really knows how to cure stitches (although there are any number of suggestions out there).

My stitch had been a pain in my side (literally) for most of 2010 when I decided enough was enough.  I decided to turn from the world of medicine and science to the Internet and magic.  Obviously, as a graduate student and researcher, I tend to prefer evidence and logical explanations but this stitch had successfully resisted modern science, medicine and the good advice of every runner/athlete I have ever met.  Clearly, my problem, as Mr. Shuffler told me, must be one of “bad ju-ju” (or possibly a minor demon).  So last Friday night, I had three of my running friends (Elbows, Sam and Renée) over for dinner, wine and a stitch-banishing ceremony.

My friends arrived promptly at 6pm and after a pitcher of mojitos and a bottle (or two) or wine, we were ready to begin (we timed the dinner so that I would be sufficiently recovered from my hangover by race day).  Mr. Shuffler had located a likely spell for us on the Internet that afternoon.  The first part of the ceremony involved carving the name of the person/thing we wanted to banish into a black candle.  Not having a black candle, we used the green pine-scented one I got from Canadian Tire around Christmas time that I keep in the bathroom.  Renée carefully carved “Dana’s stitch” onto one side and a pentacle onto the other and then lit it.   

The main part of the ceremony involved each person saying in turn “I banish Dana’s stitch by the power of [insert appropriate element here].  So mote it be,” and then destroying a piece of paper with the words “Dana’s stitch” using the corresponding element.  Renée went first and burned her piece of paper using fire.  Elbows then banished my stitch using water (i.e., flushing it down the toilet).  Sam ripped up her paper and threw it off my balcony (air) and then I stuck my piece of paper into my potted geraniums (earth).  At this point, we congratulated ourselves on a successful banishing ceremony and went back to the wine.  And Sunday morning I got a new PR.  Maybe there is something to this magic business…

Anybody else out there got a running problem that defies logic?  Did you manage to solve it?

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