When I was first told about energy gels, I gagged just hearing about them. They are little pouches of sirop-y goop that you carry in your pockets and eat while running in order to maintain a healthy level of essential nutrients. I could not imagine anything more disgusting. I mean, these aren’t exactly culinery delicacies we are talking about here.
The first ones I tried did nothing to abate my suspicions. I tried a couple of different brands, both of them triggering my gag reflex the moment I waved them anywhere near my face. You can imagine my relief when I learned that you don’t have to take your electrolytes in goopy gel form. Energy booster dealio-s are available in Jelly Bean form! Well that was awesome for a little bit, but it turns out that the high sugar content of the ‘Sport Beans’ gave me a tummy-ache. It looked like I would have to stick to one of the less-offensive gel thingys.
That was until I discovered Clif Bar Shot Bloks.
Oh. My. Gosh.
I took these things out on an 18km run, and started popping the small candy-looking cubes into my mouth after about 45 minutes. I was not prepared for that nutritional sensation.
How can I describe the effect those energy bloks had on me? Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day?
Words cannot do these things justice! The hobbits had Lembas on their way to Mordor. The Israelites had Manna on their way to the promised land. I had Shot Bloks on my way to the finish line.
It tasted like pure heaven! The moment it hit my tongue it felt sweet like candy, yet rich like a roast beef dinner. The soft substance filled my mouth like an exquisite trifle, yet satisfied me like a just-baked loaf of soft bread. My senses were heightened, my pain melted away, and my body responded with a long and sustained burst of energy. If astronauts ever try this stuff they will never go back to freeze-dried ice cream, I can guarantee that!
For the first time in my life I know what the phrase “Nectar of the gods” actually means. I’ve found it in an energy replacement chew.